November 24, 2008
Lille, France
Dear Blog,
Today, o blog, if you had watched me through a window (note: you must NEVER watch me through a window) you would no doubt conclude, after considering the magnitude of my inactivity, the extent of my lassitude, and ferocity of my languor, that today was a wasted day. And upon confrontation and logical presentation of the evidence, I would admit and agree. Then I would pause for a moment in self reflection, and ask myself under troubled brow, Did I really travel thousands of miles and pay thousands of dollars to sit quietly in a dark room?
Apparently yes.
And now dusk arrives, bringing nothing but the day to an end, because nothing else was begun. How do you describe such a man as I on such a day as this? Barnaclesque. Yes, thats the word, the word that describes the salient features of a barnacle's life, which parallels my own more often than I'd like. Our behavior is only noticeably different at meal times. You see, I am, at present, unequipped to filter my meals from the atmosphere. Perhaps if I could grow a proper mustache... Then what a human ode to crustacean I would be!
But alacks! and laments aside, I'd like to bring blame and finger pointing to the forefront. Lazy didn't become the word of the day because I woke up singing it. Not at all. You should know that the housekeeper has quite maliciously trapped me in my room. You see, she doesn't know that I'm here, and that is the lock on my cell. She thinks the house to be empty, and is behaving according, which is to say insanely. Conversing with the cats, whispering ingredients to the soups as if they're curious about their own composition, humming along with the vacuum as they dance and dance and dance. If I were to barge out of my room and into her strange, fantastical universe of songs and whispers and dances, well, it would be a shattering invasion of privacy, something from which I doubt her ego could ever recover. I expect you can see the rudeness of her assumptions and the chivalry of my inaction.
You can, can't you?
Blog,
Josh
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I want everyone to know I knew him when.
I plan to ride your talent to the bank, boyfriend! No. But yes. You are a talented man, even sitting in a dark room... and if it produces words and sentences like that, maybe indeed that is the place for you. As long as you can write about wasted days like that, it becomes an oxymoron.
Chivalrous indeed... I have raised a noble son!
Post a Comment